Posted by Newson 04/05/2012 at 5:27 PM
Hey. How has your Thursday been? Busy? Tell us about it. The typical late-week nightmares about how heavy a coat to wear in this confusing early April weather went off the rails when Kanye West bragged about falling for Kim Kardashian (sorry, Amber) while releasing “Theraflu” on the unprepared masses—and later allowed himself to be photographed on a trip to see The Hunger Games with his the subject of his lyrical affections, like any normal, red-blooded literary couple. Since then, the two have reportedly reconnected for a lunch date, Kim’s been accused of taking a (very expensive) walk of shame and TMZ has hired a brand new staff whose sole job is to sit in the alley behind ‘Ye’s Manhattan abode and tweet graphic descriptions of each and every sound coming out of the air conditioning vent. Meanwhile, across town and internet waves, Beyoncé tweeted for the first time (anal Twitter users who feel conflicted about following someone who refuses to participate, rejoice!) and released her most anticipated project next to Blue Ivy: a Tumblr.
Obviously the appropriate venues have been overflowing with takes on this social media miracle, making it difficult to do anything but marvel at her well-lit vacay snapshots and ability to make eating juicy melon look glamorous. This time of year already comes with so many distractions—Opening Day of the baseball season for all you sports fans; April 15 for all you potential tax evaders—so which selfish batch of headlines are most worthy of your attention? We’ll go even deeper: Which egomaniac will not rip your heart out and stomp on it in a reality special a mere 72 hours after wasting all of your precious time? Three hugely popular (or, well known) celebrities have already bent the true definition of “breaking news,” but only one will not make you feel like a fool when looking back at your Google history.
KANYE WEST DROPS “THERAFLU”
Pro: It’s new music! From Kanye West! Need us to remind you of My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy or Watch the Throne? Because we will.
Con: It’s featuring DJ Khaled, who can be really, really good and really, really not. There’s no word on whether this will be on that upcoming G.O.O.D. compilation or if it’s just a “Glory”-style track ‘Ye may break out at live shows from time to time.
KIM KARDASHIAN STEPS OUT WIHT A NEW MAN
Pro: Notorious for being in love with love, Kim may really have found her soulmate in the fellow “K” name hip-hop star. Getting to hear Kanye’s feelings (i.e. her name and “in love” in the same line) should make her feel special and leave us somewhat confident that the paparazzi-obsessed couple is for real—until she signs him up for the next season of her reality show and he has too many “ideas” for Ryan Seacrest.
Con: Her pushy family, filterless sisters and the potential for using someone like Kanye to (re)launch that music career put the chances for a fairytale romance in grave danger. When it comes to both of these attention hogs, the possibility of a publicity stunt works both ways: With new music coming from Yeezy, who better to associate with than the woman whose backside has its own representation?
BEYONCÉ REINVENTS THE WEB
Pro: Stepping into the Bey Hive gives us plenty of intimate photos of Bey, Jay and Solange, as well as videos that potentially reveal the reason behind the name “Blue Ivy,” and her strategical prowess when it comes to Connect Four.
Con: She’s tweeted once, making the wait for updates potential long and excruciating. While she could always scrap the entire project, there’s no real urgency to scroll through her albums in place or your actual job.
Popdust’s Verdict: “Theraflu” has been making the rounds, and while you may have lost a few cool points among those on your daily work email chain, the world will soldier on if you were not one of the first to hear the track. While the paparazzi are loving K&K’s very public meals now, all could change when Justin and Selena roll into town, and there’s been no proof that the two aren’t sitting on opposite sides of their town car, texting their stylists about how painful forced conversation can be. After this Kanye West “relationship” goes up in flames (imagine the post-breakup record now) there are only a few guys left for Kim Kardashian to date—Kareem Abdul Jabbar, Katt Williams, Kris Kristofferson, Kony, take your pick—so speculating her next target is most definitely worth your time. Which leaves us with Queen Bey. It’s been atypical for such a perennially private pop star to open up to her fans, and embrace the mediums where fans worship her most intently and most frequently. Not only do these creations signify a step towards a more open and willing Beyoncé, but serve as good signs that there will in fact be new projects coming soon in 2012. In order to get involved, do as the Queen says: congregate, discuss and spread love. Because you basically can’t show your face at work and/or school tomorrow if you don’t know the true meaning of a “wasp.”
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