There Is Basically An Entire Vault’s Worth Of Chris Brown Leaks At This Point

Posted by Katherine St Asaph on 05/12/2012 at 2:59 PM News

The Popdust Files: chris brown, don’t wake me up

At this point, you could basically gather together any given seven to 12 Chris Brown leaks, throw them into a ZIP file, call it the full Fortune album and fool a few people. No, the album wouldn’t really be stylistically coherent, what with Brown’s scatter of pop and hip-hop and R&B and mixtape and promo tracks. But would it be any less coherent than, say, Roman Reloaded or Strange Clouds? We’re just saying: this is an opportunity, should someone want to take it.

For those of you more concerned with how things work officially, this is “Don’t Wake Me Up,” which Brown announced would be his single geared toward the pop market. (It’s been out since January; this is a remaster.) Judging by the track, the pop market likes it when David Guetta futzes with acoustic guitar and steel drums as well as synths. It really likes stuttered choruses, apparently. And it’s perfectly fine with gooey-macaroon pickup lines like “if this love only exists in my dreams, don’t wake me up” or “I don’t want to fall asleep unless I’m falling for you” or “if your heart is a pillow, this love’s the bed”–a metaphor that doesn’t even work, unless you stuff your bed inside your pillow while making it.

But why are we bothering to say that? Half of the people reading this feel like mainlining antacids after that paragraph. Half of them are barely reading this because their palpitations are too strong. Neither half is going to convince the other, ever; we could replace this entire post with keyboard salad or cat GIFs or page 85 of Middlemarch and get the exact same feedback in the comments. Chris Brown is that polarizing a singer, which is probably part of why he’s still around.

On that note, here is the track.

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